Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
