Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
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I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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