I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
