so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize