Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
