well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
