How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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