If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
