If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm always down for nudity.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
