Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
