Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i believe in u and ur pee
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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