I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
