if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
