Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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