There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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