so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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