Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
