How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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