so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
