R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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