cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
