Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
