I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my sisters under your porch take her home
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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