just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
