You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
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Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
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Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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