do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
