i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
