I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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