I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize