he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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