we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
