So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
