fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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