at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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