she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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