You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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