yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
