Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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