I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
People in love make me want to vomit
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
