He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
