Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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