i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
