he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
