I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
