I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
