My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
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like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
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I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I know her cup size but not her name....
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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