she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Can you repeat that, but with context?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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