Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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