In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize