last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
