I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
