I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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