the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
