the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Every concussion has its silver lining
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
