The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
