Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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