Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
