She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
