I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
