i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
