Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize