Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
