i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize