I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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