I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
