So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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