we have pet lesbian snakes
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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