i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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