He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
